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Sunday, November 2, 2014

Why Heroines Never Do Housework

It looks like autumn is about to come to an abrupt end in Georgia. It’s been warm for the most part, but colder temps are moving in. The leaves here in Marietta have been absolutely gorgeous. Slowly, they are helicoptering down to make a soft ground cover in
preparation for the colder months to come.
Halloween was a great success around my house. The grand babies were satisfied with the three-cavities-guaranteed sweets they were able to score. Their mommas…not so
much! Now it’s time to finish off the Halloween candy and carry the jack-o-lanterns to the field for the critters to munch on. I’ll be cleaning and getting ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities. Which leads me to ask the question—
Why do the heroines in our books never do normal, everyday things?
After thinking about it, I’ve come to a conclusion. What normal, everyday woman wants to read a book that mimics her life? I’m not implying our lives are boring, but come on, how many women kick butt and take names for a living? How many can eat like all food has zero calories and never gain an ounce? What women in Reader-Ville, have all the men on Earth wanting to do wonderful things to their bodies—and want nothing in return?
 Yep, that’s what I’m saying.
When I read, I want to lose myself in the story. I want to bond with a woman leading an exciting, fairytale life. I want the hunky, alpha sex-god to fall madly in love me, fighting any others who might interfere in his quest for my affections.
I want the hot, multiple orgasms kind of sex with no kids pounding on my bedroom door, or dogs sleeping at the foot of the bed. I want to never worry about morning breath, taking bathroom break, or how many calories a tiny morsel of chocolate contains.
If I wanted to spend time with a woman cleaning toilets, chasing dust-bunnies, or tackling wild children, I’d look in the mirror and have a conversation with myself.
If anyone else has another theory about why heroines in romance books never lead the lives real women do, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. If you lead the life of a heroine in the romance books, let me know. I want to meet you!
Everyone who comments, will be entered in a drawing for a chance to win an e-copy of Resolutions, or The Eyes Die Last.

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